Chapter 268: Creeepy! Pathetic!
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Leaving Sword to his own devices as he headed over to his Ryoku to mount a defense, I chatted with the nearby merchants. The topic was about collagen.
If you led a reckless life or had already grown old, the necessary components of your body would decrease ever so slowly. A healing potion wouldn’t do anything to fix that since this decay didn’t stem from an injury or sickness.
“――For this reason, it’s important to consume a balanced diet…meat, veggies, and grain. You can substitute the meat with fish, or rather, fish is actually better. Also, leaf veggies and fruits are a rare treat out on the sea. But that’s no problem, you see? After all, you can also eat them dry. So you just need to dry them and then take them with you on the ship.”
The merchants were spellbound by my explanation. And gradually more and more people gathered around me. Given that they questioned me while listening carefully to my every word, I got passionate about giving a full explanation. I enthusiastically talked on and on while waving my hands around.
“――This slimy mucus ingredient is, when put in human terms, responsible for the skin’s springiness. The elderly start to lack this jelly-like component and thus their skin continues becoming wrinkled.”
As soon as I mentioned that, the eyes of the merchants lit up.
“Alright, I’m going to stock this too.”
“Me too. That’s a nice piece of information.”
“…But, can you stock it elsewhere?”
“”””……””””
The merchants rushed over to the guildmaster and started to negotiate with him. Meanwhile I was worried about the collagen in my hand.
“If someone young takes this, pimples will come out, won’t they? I guess it’d be better for me to not drink it.”
“It’d be a matter of celebration if pimples actually appeared on your face, you know? I mean, you’ve never had bad skin. So you should try messin’ it up with pimples at least once.”
Oh, it looks like Sword finished his excuses, err, persuasion. He spew venom at me the second he came back.
I nodded and addressed the guildmaster, “I suppose I’ll give it a try. …Guildmaster, please share some bone scraps with me. I’m going to make collagen soup. I’d like to test whether I can cause pimples to appear on this smooth skin of mine.”
“Haaah?” Read this on Infinite Novel Translations to support the translator!
That was quite the response.
“Boys and girls, who get too many nutritions, eject the excess-components through their skin. Since I’m also at the height of my youth, I’m going to test whether the same will happen to me.”
“…Somehow, I don’t feel a shred of youthfulness from the way you’re talking,” the guildmaster said something terrible, before passing me the scraps with a, “Here you go.”
＊
I cooked it at the edge of the warehouse.
Well, it was nothing special anyway. After washing the bones, I heated them up, before simply cooking the scraps and herbs together with the collagen.
It gave off a nice smell, and after finishing the soup, I seasoned it a bit and gave it a try.
“Whoa! …Your right! It’s got an amazin’ effect if your young.”
Looking at me after I drank it, Sword became so surprised that he drew back. No pimples came out, but I started to gleam from my skin becoming so shiny.
“Hmm, I suppose that’s slightly dangerous. It looks like it’s still not necessary to a young person like me. Now then, the rest…”
“P-Please wait a moment! I’ll pay for it, so please allow me to taste it.”
Merchants lined up and soon the workers joined in as well.
“”……””
I didn’t make it with that intention in mind, okay? I just wanted to make a fish broth…
Oh well, whatever.
＊
Once I distributed the soup, those eating it got divided into those shining and the rest. By the way, the guildmaster didn’t shine.
“What’s going to happen if I let my wife drink this?”
“She’s way too young for that, isn’t she?”
Some of them said. Right, you tell him.
＊
After watching Sword stare at the discussing fishermen, I gave him another sermon.
“You should also prioritize your current ones without getting sidetracked and swooned by younger ones. Otherwise I’m going to teach the Ryokus a song about a guy, who has his eyes stolen by a young woman, and ask them to regularly sing it for you.”
“Stop. Seriously, please stop that,” Sword begged me in a hurry.
It looks like he hates the idea so much that he started using formal speech.
＊
Suddenly, just when I felt a creepy presence, a chilling voice reached my ears!
“…Humph, so you’re a declining S-Rank adventurer who keeps jumping from one young woman to the other, eh? What a useless sucker. It sounds like you’re no adversary for me, the 『Next Gen S-Rank Adventurer』 Shining Lightning Star!”
“SWOOOOOOOOORD!”
It appeareeeeeeed!”
“Yeah, yeah, gotcha. I’ll cover for you so don’t teach the Ryokus any weird songs, ‘kay? Also, stop with all those comments that only invite misunderstandings. I’m properly doting on the Ryokus and Char. Or rather, all of them are completely different. They function differently, so you can’t treat them the same, right?”
When I frantically clung to Sword, he caressed my head to soothe me. Afterwards he knitted his eyebrows while looking at the super-lame guy, and stated, “Hey, I told you to stop it with the harassment, didn’t I? Indra is scared of you, so stay out of her sight.”
I was trembling repeatedly. He’s creeepy and pathetic!
＊
As soon as he laughed in a conceited manner, the area cooled down even further.
“I suppose the brilliance of me, the great Shining Lightning Star, is just too dazzling to look at for a porter who’s grown accustomed to seeing a declining, old S-Rank adventurer.”
“SWOOOOOOOOORD, SWOOOOOOOOORD!”
“Yeah, yeah, on it,” Sword held me up in his arms. “We’re gonna leave soon, so get lost until then. Also, Indra isn’t a porter, but an adventurer of higher ability and rank than you. ――Never forget that.”
Sword phrased the last part of his remark as a threat. Read this on Infinite Novel Translations to support the translator!
And then I felt frosty. I sensed something laughing scornfully and the presence of something slurping something.”
“…Hmm, the taste is so-so. I guess he’s not just a little, useless porter boy as he can cook to some degree. Okay, I, the great Shining Lightning Star, will pick you up.”
Sword spoke up with a fed-up voice, “Didn’t you listen? I told you to get lost. Also, Indra is an A-Rank adventurer. She’s superior to you. Let me tell you once more, she’s an A-Rank adventurer! Your treatin’ an A-Rank as porter while bein’ a B-Rank yourself, you know? Do you get that?”
“…Sword…it’s useless. …Those afflicted by that illness…they don’t listen…it’s a trait of that illness… They’re basically deaf…and also, day-dreamers…so scary!”
When I informed Sword with a trembling voice, he roughly stroked my head and took me somewhere.
＊
“Get your act together. He’s already gone. So, your gonna build that Bronko for playin’ in forests, right?”
So that thing’s not here anymore? What a relief.
I lifted my face and told Sword, “I plan to call it 【Pronk】. It means a jumping deer.” 1
“So you ain’t gonna build a locust?”
Quite the level-headed retort. Even so, calling it grasshopper is too much of a mouthful.
…In reality, I might have needed to call it ○ttlehopper or some such. 2
＊
Oh, and because of that I remembered.
“I’m going to install the same AI as the Ryokus in my Pronk, but what do you think?”
Basically my golems are parallelized thanks to the magic stones installed in them, but if I do it in this case, the Ryokus will feel jealous. As such I thought they might not get jealous if I create it as a magic tool instead, and tried asking Sword about this approach.
“I’ll go along with you on that. …But, the Ryokus won’t be jealous of that?”
“I doubt they’ll be envious of me, but I wonder whether the same will apply to you.”
I’m fully doting on them, get nosebleeds due to their loveliness, and like them so much that I don’t understand why they’d be less emotionally attached to me than Sword.
“Why just me…?”
Sword kept carrying me while feeling dejected.
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